letter one

this blog post and probably many to come will be inspired by todaysletters.com

check it out. they are precious and witty and a wonderful depiction of love.

Dear Best Friend: i'm going to try to be better about blogging this semester, partly just for my sanity and a good break from studying. please hold me accountable. also, i want to be the best maid of honor ever, so if that means you have to be bridezilla, go for it. Dear Bike: please stop giving me blisters, i hate you already. Dear Professors: I don't want to be in class, you don't seem to enjoy teaching very much, so maybe we can just compromise and have an easy semester? Dear Roommates: I love you so much. I can't promise to always be emotionally stable or in a good mood, but know that you are both my favorites. Let's be friends forever.

grace

Our God is BIG. He is so faithful. He desires our hearts, He desires our lives. How we ever choose to run away from Him baffles me. It is so sad that our pride and selfish desires distract us from the only thing that can truly satisfy us.

I have been so humbled and convicted of this in the last couple weeks, and the way I have seen God's grace and mercy in my life makes me want to cry. When we are weak, He is strong. That sounds so simple, so easy. It's not. Literally when we feel like falling apart, He delights in being that strength. HE fills holes, HE heals wounds, HE speaks truth, HE brings joy. When we feel like no one cares or understands, the One who knows our heart inside and out is there. He is comfort, peace, and rest.

I think sometimes I get so caught up in my worldly securities and relationships that in order for me to see how much I need Him, He takes them away. We are lost without our Savior, literally lost. I try so hard to make plans and fix things my own way, that my pride completely blinds me to the freedom that comes when we surrender ourselves to Him.

You raise me beyond the skies, into a city of eternal light
Looking down on the stars, I fly into heaven, caught up in your arms

I Breathe Your fragrance, taste your goodness,
Crumble to pieces
Into Your love
In Your presence all my existence
Crumbles to pieces
Into Your love

I’m speechless what can I say
Words become tears
As You wipe them away
All my kisses and crowns at your feet
Fire of heaven burn love over me

It’s such a beautiful story
I’m face to face with the King of glory

You rescued someone unworthy, I know this is love

Make me more like You, Lord. break me, use me, devastate my life.

rest

It's been a while. Spring break came and went, and the hardest week of my life then proceeded to begin. I got back to college station at 3 am on monday morning, slept for a few hours, and then dove into a week full of tests, papers, and assignments. I feel like i've barely had time to breathe. Im sitting in a coffee shop right now completely fed up with my comm 325 notes, and decided to take a break and look at some pictures from the last week. Here are some of my favorites from my adventure in san francisco. enjoy.

What a nice rest to sit and remember the stories that went with these pictures. All i really want to do right now is curl up and fall asleep and dream about summer. I feel overwhelmed with school and life. Sometimes it's tiring always being the positive, encouraging, optimistic one. I feel like i try so hard to have a good attitude every day and smooth things over cause I'm such a fixer. I don't think people understand how hard that is. When I'm surrounded by negativity i just want to run away. I just want to be the one that gets to be in a bad mood and feel supported sometimes. Especially this week.

beach

i've decided that everyone is either a beach or mountains person. you either like the waves, sand, and sun or nature, view, and snow.

i am DEFINITELY a beach person. while i have an appreciation for the mountains and would be perfectly happy living in a small cabin in the woods with trees all around and no human to be seen, my ideal paradise exists next to an ocean.

i love love love sand in my hair, sand in my toes, sand all around. putting on some sunglasses, grabbing a towel, a good book, and spending the day listening to the waves.

california girl at heart right here. it just feels free.

flying

picture of the day.

or maybe picture of my life.

snow

today was the perfect day for hot chocolate.

i decided that in order to really appreciate snow, you must play in it.

"Oh! the snow, the beautiful snow, Filling the sky and earth below, Over the housetops, over the street, Over the heads of the people you meet. Dancing, Flirting, Skimming along."

ellie

let me tell you about one of my favorite people in the whole entire world. she's funny, creative, witty, joyful, and one of the most loving people i've ever met. she also celebrated her 8th birthday on saturday. i first met ellie a month before my 14th birthday. she came to our house in an ugly dress, huge light-up shoes, and matted hair. shyly she explored our house without making a sound. barely able to sit up by herself, she maneuvered her way around using the furniture for support. i remember being so nervous and wondering if this little girl would ever smile. if you have met ellie in the last 4 or 5 years, this description of her probably seems unimaginable, but at the time all she knew was pain and abandonment. coming from an incredible broken background, all that precious little girl knew was hurt, bruises, and lies. she was incredibly sensitive and distrusting of men, and it took weeks and weeks for her to even be comfortable in the same room as my dad. it broke my heart to see someone that little associate such pain with a figure that is supposed to bring protection and safety.

when she was 3 1/2 years old, my family got the incredible privilege of adopting ellie into our lives for forever. in the last 5 years, the person that ellie has become is truly a depiction of the Lord's incredible grace. my little sister is sweet, compassionate, crazy, fun, and so aware of how God has changed her from broken to beautiful. i can't imagine my life without her, and she seriously teaches me something new every day. as i celebrated her birthday with her and all her friends this weekend, i was again reminded of how the Lord completely changed my heart through ellie and her story. He has given me such a heart for the broken, a desire to see lost hearts changed in countries around the world, and a dream to adopt my own someday. i am so incredibly thankful for ellie and the impact she had made on my family and my life.

old

reminiscing on when i used to be good at photography...

dream

" Throw your dream into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."

sometimes it's good to just let go. forget school. forget tests. forget your problems. take a breath and a step back. look for opportunities and reasons to smile. pay attention to details. stop running through life without noticing the things around you. you never realize how refreshing having a good attitude can be until you try. it helps. that checklist of a hundred things will still be there when you get back, but your outlook on how to accomplish those things will be completely different. be creative with your life!

valentines

I'm not a valentine's day girl. Never have been, probably never will be. Single or not, it's never been a holiday I celebrate with much enthusiasm. I guess i've always seen it as a publicized way to tell someone you care about them, which I think you should do every day anyways.

Valentine's day isn't about just saying "i love you" or a dozen roses. love to me is about actions. the original Valentine was a Roman Christian martyred for witnessing to his prison guards. As he was led to his death he wrote a note to the jailer's daughter signing it "from your Valentine." How ironic is it that this candy filled, cupid adorned, card infested holiday originated from a witness of our loving Savior. As he was led to death, he chose his last words to reflect on how he loved our Lord enough to die. It always amazes me that our God can be seen and reflected even in a celebration we focus around ourselves.

Growing up my mom used to take us to a nursing home by our house around this time of year and we would pass out candy and sing old songs to the people in the wheelchairs and hospital beds. I remember always leaving feeling really sad for those lonely hearts who didn't have anyone to come eat jello with them. It also made me thankful though. Thankful for the people in my life that I knew loved me and would always take care of me.

There are people in my life that I love, and then there are people in my life that I love. when I think about actions that reflect love, one person sticks out in my mind far above the rest. my dad is not a man of many words, he is painfully awkward to have a phone conversation with, and we don't even really have a lot in common. That said, I have never ever once in my entire life doubted his love for me. When I'm home he fills my car up with gas, when I'm away he fills up my bank account. The reason I'm in college today is because he started saving money for my tuition before I even decided to go. When I'm upset I call him and he reasons with my tears. When I'm happy I call him and he tells me how proud he is of me. He models what it means to have a relationship with Christ. He's the reason I have such high standards for the man I'm going to marry. He never fails to tell me I deserve the best. I love him.

I know that when most people think of February 14th, they don't think of their dads, but I guess this was just my excuse to express my thankfulness to him. He will probably never see this, but if anything it will remind me to tell him how much he means to me.

This picture is from one of the best moments of my life. My dad baptized me in the Georgetown River when I was 11 years old, and my life hasn't been the same since.

Maybe this post won't mean anything to you, but I hope that if nothing else you take from it that love is more than words, candy, or presents.

When you're spending time with your sweethearts today, tell them how thankful you are for their friendship and love.

Happy Valentines Day.

love

my two beautiful valentines

i love them.

free

today i went swing dancing for 5 hours. my feet hurt.

there is something really freeing about being spun, twirled, and twisted around with no control over what's coming your way.

i loved it.

new goal in life: be brave and try new things.